What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I didn't notice because vodka
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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