HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
They have beer where we have blood.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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