i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She said her name was "party"
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
