Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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