Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
