if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
