Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
