its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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