Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
