I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
