In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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