Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
