and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
