if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize
