I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
