i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
