the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
