I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
