Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
