Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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