all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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