I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
