my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
