just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
