i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
