Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
