i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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