I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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