I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
