I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
