but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
