the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
