But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
