So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
