i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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