sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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