wrigley field is MILF paradise
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
