She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
this will be a night to untag.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
