i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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