whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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