I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
