somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
