can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
