Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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