I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
