imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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