She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
