Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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