He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
