Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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