She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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